On Reclaiming "Just"

Last week I sent a text message that used the word "just" three times.  ... A text.

I am especially guilty of using the word "just."   I just want to tell people things.  I just want to say... I'd just like to ask... I was just wondering... and it will just take a minute.  For me, "just" doing something is often an apology.  I'm sorry you're reading this right now - I just wanted to share something, and it will just take a moment of your time.

As it turns out, when I started paying attention to this tendency, I found that it has seeped into my professional world, too.

Two days ago, the awesome Christina Feigel and I taught a master class on giving constructive criticism that included scripted responses with students.  As happens with scripts, ours became predictable and elicited some laughter and good-natured teasing. What was my response to that?  "It's just one option of phrasing."

WHAT WERE YOU DOING, PAST CAYLA?!  That meant they were listening, and they learned.  No apology needed.

I even do it - and I bet you do, too - in musical and school situations: 

• "Would you mind giving me some feedback?  I'm just going to run through my excerpt list."
  
• "What are you doing for the concerto competition?" "Oh, just the Mozart."
• "What year are you?" "Just a sophomore."

Now, the point - I have decided to reclaim the word "just." "Just" is not always evil.  Sometimes "just" keeps things in perspective.  Sometimes "just" helps me focus.

I put this plan into action last night, for the bassoon preliminaries of the concerto competition.  I did a little powering up and made a positive "just" mantra.

I am not going to do everything.  I am not going to play with flawless technique.  I am not going to be the poster child for authentic Baroque style.  I am not even going to remember every note.

I am just going to create an enjoyable experience.  People showed up for music.  I'm just going to give it to them.

And at the end of the evening, I hadn't played with flawless technique or glorious Baroque style.  I hadn't even remembered all the notes.  "Just" wasn't a perfect plan, by any means.  But someone came up to me afterward to tell me how much he enjoyed it - "I mean, really."

You know what I felt like?

Yep, phenomenal cosmic power.  "Just" wasn't a perfect plan, but it was a surprisingly empowering one.

I'm just going to leave you with that.